Friday, December 8

Christmas Shopping

I have officially finished my Christmas shopping today. If that doesn't qualify me as deserving of a nice glass of wine, I don't know what does.

I will say this, there is a definite theme to the gifts I've bought this year and no it's not "things you can get at Amazon" though I'll be expecting those boxes to arrive presently. It has much more to do with NPR than anything else.

And that's all I'll say about that matter. I know some of my readers are expecting gifts, fortunately there aren't very many of you (readers that is). You won't be disappointed.

I've also come up with a Christmas Eve menu, but I'm waiting for approval from powers greater than myself. You better believe it will be a tasty feast.


Anonymous said...

As one of your "expectant readers", I feel it is imperative to express my concerns regarding the opacity of this year's Secret Santa assignment process. Having spent all of my allotted shopping time attempting unsuccessfully to resolve an adjectival conundrum, I was shocked and dismayed to discover the ease with which you completed your own shopping, which leads me to believe that you may have assigned easier adjectives to yourself. While I appreciate the time and energy that you have dedicated to your self-assigned role as Christmas Eve Major Domo, I am nonetheless still uneasy about the absence of transparency. Perhaps my doubts are unfounded, but then again, how can I know?

Furthermore, while I find the notion of assigning the "hard words" to the family's perpetual graduate student to be understandable, I am willing to venture that your English ability, as you so frequently demonstrate in this blog, far outstrips my own. I would also note that your disallowing of Chinese effectively neutralized any benefit I might derive from my years of bookish toil. You have left me intellectually disenfranchised and semantically oppressed.

Madame, I protest.

Ash said...


I protest your protestations. The assignment of giftees was purely random I assure you. Unlike the much decried Diabold voting machines, I have a paper trail to prove my innocence from your accusations. Sir, names were drawn BEFORE I received an adjective from anyone. That you belabored the decision, procrastinating as any good grad student might, is not of my concern. As proof the email you received alerting you to your draw and adjectives was first sent to Dennis on 12/4/06 (he will confirm this is so). I was able to send him instructions because both he and his givee were prompt with their responses. There has been no funny business on the part of the committee.

Furthermore, I did not assign "hard words" as you claim to anyone. You all assigned them to yourselves. You will note, upon inspection of the gifts to come, that the most difficult words, the ones that sent me to my online dictionary, were from none other than the three perpetual students in the family. I certainly did not insist that you not use a Chinese word, rather warned that any attempt to use a difficult word would backfire. And backfire it has.

In conclusion, your false accusations are in line with certain parties claiming presence of certain weapons when all known intelligence counters this belief. Thus I accuse you of attempting to foster an environment of hostility and distrust on our most holiest of days. By allowing people to choose their own adjectives I have given the exchange back to the people.

Vivent la Revolucion!