Wednesday, June 28
How to Save a Peach Tree
The first and perhaps key step in saving a peach tree is to know almost nothing about trees. Aside from the trees in your backyard growing up, you really have no experience with growing trees, and even that experience was limited to the fact that you have parents who cared for those trees, and also you paid no attention.
Next, move into a converted art studio that has a big overrun garden and a half dozen fruit trees. Nod, knowingly when the owner identifies the trees for you: Avocado, Plum, Fig, pomegranate, Lemon, Lime, Tangerine, oh and that volunteer Peach that never produces good fruit. Agree that the peach tree should be removed to give more space to the Avocado and that weird yellow flower kind-of succulent tree thing that looks tropical.
Become convinced that with a little TLC and some fruit tree fertilizer that you buy at the garden store, that your peach tree will produce great fruit.
Get too busy to administer TLC or fertilizer.
Decide that you should, in fact, take out the tree. Tell this to husband who reacts as if you've asked him to help you murder someone. Finally agree with him that if the tree volunteered itself and managed to grow into a big tree, it deserves the right to live. This is also a good excuse for not going to all the work (and it would be a lot of work) to remove it.
Continue to ignore it, even as it starts to look ill.
When your mom comes to visit and tells you it has peach tree curl, nod knowingly. Agree that you will go to the garden store and get some of the spray that will heal it. Do not purchase said spray.
Magically the peach tree curl will go away on it's own and baby peaches will form. Continue to ignore the tree while you look lovingly at the now-producing plum tree...
..and fig tree
Finally, know in your heart that you have saved this tree through your sheer laziness from a death sentence imposed by the landlord. Also become convinced that next year, it will get that TLC it so desperately needs. For now, you'll be satisfied with peaches that just aren't very good.