Saturday, October 14

Perhaps I've Given the Wrong Impression of Myself

So the last time I posted, I wrote about fairly boring things like home made cayenne pepper and tamales from the farmer's market. WELL, I got a comment from someone who had read my profile and sympathized with my draw to the country. Then this person said this
Do you really love LA, or do you just like being near 'a scene?'

Perhaps one day you'll see that the farm is what mattered all along, and that the clubs were just an excuse to feel 'cool'.

Search yourself and you may find the answer.
So...Anyone who actually knows me, knows what an absurd thing this is to say to me. Therefore I fear that my profile must be misleading, but when I read it again, I noticed a distinct lack of mention of loving LA for it's "scene" or it's "clubs". And yet this is the response I get.

So then I went back to the comment and in the beginning the poster mentioned he/she was from New York (before moving to the beach). So now it makes sense. Clearly if I'm a young female living in Los Angeles, I must be:

A) an actress
B) so shallow that I would need to be near a club scene to feel cool
C) so stupid as to not know why I like a particular city
D) All of the above.

Am I insulted? No. I get that this goes with the territory of living in Los Angeles. I get that people actually believe that the movie CRASH is an accurate portrayal of how people in this city behave. And, not to reverse the stereotype or anything, but those from New York look down on us. I see that. I get it. We're NY LITE. But here's the thing: I AM NOTHING LIKE THE LA STEREOTYPE (with the exception of my car - that fits in solidly).

So to head off any future confusion about who I am, I'd like to break it down for the casual reader who doesn't know me at all:

26 Things about a 26-year-old Angelino

1) I am not an actress, nor could you pay me enough to get in front of the camera.

2) I am a writer/producer and have several scripts that I'd be happy to have an agent pitch all over town. (so I guess that stereotype fits too)

3) I DO NOT GO TO CLUBS. Ever. Period. End of Sentence.

4) I do occasionally go to bars where my friends' bands are playing. Often it's a little place like the Silverlake Lounge.

5) I don't drink chick drinks - I drink whisky. WITHOUT coke.

6) I have a dog but she doesn't fit into a purse. My dog could beat up your dog (unless you're Auna, in which case Bean wins, no contest)

7) I am not a scientologist nor do I condone their cult-like tactics.

8) I do go to a lot of theater. Some of it's good, some of it's terrible but I always try to see my friends' shows. (The last few have been good)

9) I do love going to Asskat at the UCB theater but I don' t think that makes me stupid - it's some of the best comedy around - thanks Eva!

10) I grew up on the beach in San Diego (it doesn't get more SoCal than that) but am a terrible surfer and a good swimmer. I used to live on Venice beach but the fact that it was usually too polluted to swim in just got depressing.

11) I often have big ideas that I don't always follow through on (i.e. running a farm in the country - what the hell do I know about running a farm? I can barely keep my tomatoes alive and most of my gardening thus far has been repairing things I've broken)

12) I like gourmet food and I cook better than most restaurants (that sounds like I'm boasting, but it's true - and I can cook a gourmet dish without it costing $40 a plate) which leads me to like living in a city where I can get an assortment of exotic ingredients within a 10 minute drive.

13) I hold grudges for an unreasonably long amount of time.

14) I rarely wear makeup and don't own any hot pants or short skirts.

15) I hike everyday (mostly).

16) I would rather wander around an art museum than eat at The Ivy.

17) I take Harper's (the mag full of essays, not Bazaar), the Atlantic Monthly, The New York Review of Books, McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Garden Design, and Sunset Magazine. Note the lack of fashion magazines (and they still let me live in LA)

18) I don't have TV. I have a TV but all it's hooked up to is a DVD player, a non-region DVD player and a VHS player.

19) I would rather watch an old foreign film than a new action film.

20) I have never been to New York, but I have driven to the most norther town in the Yukon because I was told I could pan for gold and buy a sandwich with the flakes.

21) I rarely "feel cool" and going to clubs would be the last thing that would increase my cool factor.

22) I don't like Stadium Seating. I don't like having a headrest that hundreds and thousands of people have used before me. I think it's gross. I'd rather go to the New Beverly or the Vista or the American Cinemateque any day of the week than sit in stadium seating to see the latest blockbuster.

23) I am a pescetarian (until recently I was full vegetarian) and I buy local, because I refuse to support factory farming as it exists in this country.

24) I am not afraid of growing old. I am not afraid of much.

25) I hate the way my beautiful city and the creative people in it, are portrayed on TV and in most movies.

26) I have a husband who shares my love of good film, good music, good reading, good politics (if there is such a thing), good art, good food, the good life and a general desire to avoid the Sunset Strip at all cost. I am constantly amazed by him and how much my love for him grows (that may be the last gooey thing I'll write on this blog).

That's all the searching of myself I can do in one afternoon - as far as I can tell there's very little of me trying to be near a scene to feel cool. Or maybe the lady doth protest too much. Hard to say - I'll have to search myself for the answers (that was italicized to emphasize it was dripping with sarcasm).

It always amazes me how other people perceive those of us who live in LA. I often had a similar experience when we were in Canada. People think they know us because they read the tabloids and watch TV. That's not the real Los Angeles. The real LA is a lot better.


eva said...

you're welcome!

&Rew said...

¿is that david cross in the background of your profile pic?


Ash said...

It sure is. It was part of a photographer's exhibit at the arclight.